Immortality in a bubble

"Why don't you use your dark power to find this Desmond fellow?"

"It doesn't work that way, Deirdre."

"More like: it doesn't work at all." I snort. The burst of disbelief blasts a string of verbena balloons from my right nostril. Whoa, immortal snot bubbles attack.

Their inflated bodies tickle delicate nose hairs and provoke a bout of effervescent sneezes.

"Oh no!" Lazarus exclaims. "The allergies."

"What?" Sneeze. "This is what," sneeze, "you're," sneeze, sneeze, sneeze "worried about?" With two hands, I seize him by the cape. Burying my face in his giant handkerchief, I unleash a fragrant gush of gassy goo. "My hay fever is worse than this."

"My cape!" He shouts, dismayed. "Aw, you've ruined it."

"I told you to loose that cape. You look ridiculous."

"It strikes fear in the hearts of my victims." He pouts.

"It strikes laughter in the bellies of your victims, is more like it."

Considering this possibility, he strips off the costume. "Fine. Let's just find Desmond before you decide to barf on my shoes."

Angry, he marches up the steps of the neighboring house and hammerfists the door. No one answers.

The house is dark, and the car is parked at the curb, yet the radio blares from the upstairs room. Obviously, the occupants vacation in New England for a clambake, but desire that would-be-thieves assume they're at home.

Not wishing to repeat his mistake, I target the next house. Mosquitoes buzz around the porch light as I approach the door.

Dressed smartly in a hooded jacket, a startled woman emerges on the front stoop. "Oh," she exclaims. "I was just heading out to grab a bite to eat."

"At this time of night?" Lazarus sprints toward us when he spots the live body on the porch. "You should be careful. Dangerous creatures crawl the night, and some of us are thirsty."


What happens next? You decide.
A. The decaying duo take the woman out for dinner.
B. The woman invites the two inside for a couple of drinks.
C. Deirdre bums an antihistamine.
D. The clambaking neighbors groggily stumble over to see if the promiscuous woman cares to join them.